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Answering Divorce Papers in Virginia

Read this in: Español

Author: Valerie L'Herrou

If your spouse filed for divorce and you were served (given official notice of a court filing) with divorce papers, you may feel overwhelmed and unsure what to do next. That is completely normal. This article explains what the papers mean, what your options are, and what to expect.

In a Virginia divorce, the person who files is called the Plaintiff. You, as the person receiving the papers, are called the Defendant. Being named the Defendant does not mean you did anything wrong. It is simply legal terminology.

I received divorce papers. What do they mean? 

When you are served with divorce papers, you will typically receive two documents.

The Summons is a notice from the court that a lawsuit has been filed. The Complaint is the document your spouse filed to start the divorce. It tells the court what your spouse is asking for.

You should also receive copies of any agreements you have both signed about dividing property or debts, and about child custody, parenting time, and support, if those apply to your situation.

How long do I have to respond? 

Once you are served, you have 21 calendar days to file a response with the court if you choose to do so.

This deadline is important. If you do not respond within 21 days, your spouse can move forward with finalizing the divorce without your input.

Important: If you decide you do not need spousal support and you do not file a response with the court asking for it, or reserving your right to ask for it later, you will permanently give up your right to receive spousal support from this person.

Do I need to respond if I am served with divorce papers? 

No, you do not need to respond. If you do not respond, your spouse will move forward with filing the rest of the divorce papers. If your spouse filed an uncontested no-fault divorce based on separation, the court may approve everything and issue a Final Decree of divorce without holding a hearing. You will get a copy of the Final Decree in the mail.

What happens if I do not respond? 

If you do not file a response within 21 days, your spouse can ask the court to move forward and finalize the divorce. The judge can sign the Final Decree based only on what your spouse has submitted, including the Complaint, the Affidavit, and any agreements or court orders.

Not responding does not stop the divorce from happening. It simply means the divorce will move forward based on the grounds of living separate and apart for the required period of time.

How do I know if I should respond to a divorce filing? 

Use this checklist to help you decide.

  1. Are there minor children from the marriage whose custody, support, visitation, or parentage is in dispute? (If you have a signed agreement or a court order about these matters, they are not considered "in dispute," even if the outcome is not exactly what you wanted.)
  2. Is there property bought during the marriage, or jointly owned property, that needs to be divided and you have no written agreement about how to divide it?
  3. Are there debts from the marriage that are still unpaid, and you have no written agreement about who is responsible for them?
  4. Do you need spousal support (alimony) now, or might you need it in the future? You may have a right to spousal support if you were subjected to abuse in your marriage, or if you earned less than your spouse because you spent more time caring for the children and home.
  5. Does the Complaint claim that the divorce is your fault, for example due to adultery, cruelty, or desertion?

If you answered "no" to all five questions, you probably do not need to file a response.

Important: If you decide you do not need spousal support and you do not file an Answer asking for it, or reserving your right to ask for it later, you will permanently give up your right to receive spousal support from this person.

If you do not receive a copy of the Final Decree within 30 to 60 days, check with the clerk to get a copy and keep it in a safe place. Make sure your divorce has been final for 30 days before you remarry, or you could be charged with a crime.

What are my options? 

When you receive divorce papers, you have two basic choices:

  • You can choose not to respond, or
  • You can file a response that tells the court your side.

If you and your spouse have a signed agreement about everything, or if a JDR (Juvenile and Domestic Relations) court has already issued orders about custody and support, the divorce is called uncontested. You may also have agreements on how to divide property and debts. An uncontested divorce is simpler, faster, and gives both spouses more say in the final outcome.

If you do not have signed agreements or court orders covering all issues, a judge will need to make those decisions. This is called a contested divorce. Contested divorces are more complicated and require hearings. You should get an attorney for a contested divorce.

What if I want to respond? 

If you want to respond, you will need to file a written response, called an Answer, with the circuit court where your spouse filed. You might want to respond if your spouse is claiming the divorce is your fault and you disagree, if you believe the divorce is actually your spouse's fault, or if you feel you should receive spousal support and you have no agreement or court order about it.

Talk to an attorney before you respond. A fault-based divorce can be long, difficult, and expensive. If you and your spouse are not on good terms, this will make the relationship even more difficult. It can also make co-parenting harder. An attorney can help you decide if a court battle is worth the time, expense, and bad feelings. Even if you cannot afford an attorney, free or low-cost help may be available. See the resources for finding help below.

What if I am not sure whether to respond? 

If you are unsure what to do, talk to an attorney before the 21-day deadline passes. Even a brief consultation can help you understand your options.

If cost is a concern, legal aid organizations in Virginia can offer free help to people who qualify. Find your local legal aid office: Visit virginialawhelp.org/get-legal-help or call 866-534-5243.

You can also ask a lawyer a question online for free: virginia.freelegalanswers.org.

What if children are involved? 

Before a judge will finalize any divorce involving children, there must be either a signed agreement or a court order covering custody, parenting time, and child support.

When you were served with the divorce papers, you should have received documents about these matters. If you have children and no such documents were included, check with an attorney or file a response with the court.

Read more about child support and child custody.

Free and low-cost legal help